Peace, Love, Bar Brawl

My friend, Jay, recently emailed that he finally realized 311 is a great band. This conversation was so blogtastic that I couldn't resist:

In his own words, "Okay, you win. I've decided that 311 is the second greatest band in the world. I just heard a story on the radio that last week they up and beat the shit out of Scott Stapp, the Creed singer, who, in my opinion, has been asking for a good punch in the face for years now. So, you were right, 311 is awesome."

I always knew everyone was wrong when they said, "Violence is never the answer". 311 is all about promoting harmony on earth, so I guess the moral of the story is sometimes violence must rear its ugly head in the name of world peace. I hope Falwell, Limbaugh, and Bush and company are next on their list.

For the Rolling Stone piece on 311/Stapp brawl, go to: http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/_/id/8901746/scottstapp?pageid=rs.Home&pageregion=single1&rnd=1133461431784&has-player=false

Peace out, yo.

Scandalous Emissions

Why does the media seem so surprised that the Oil-for-Food program was corrupt?

Greedy bastards and murderous tyrants don't do good deeds.

I mean, really, this is such bullshit that when I turn on CNN there is shock and awe. I won't even dare turn on FOX news, I'm sure they will find a way to put Bill & Hillary Clinton in the study with Colonel Mustard and the revolver.

Shame on the media.

They have turned a blind eye for years, but now its a hot story! It will be forgotten tomorrow did anyone see Oprah today? She had Leonardo DiCaprio and Michael Oppenheimer on (yes, the smart guy from Princeton) talking about global warming. When they listed the top five least fuel efficient SUVs, Oprah copped to driving one. She asked if her dogs would fit in a little hybrid car and said she'd at least think about getting one. She also said she would send someone, definitely not herself, out to buy compact fluorescent bulbs for her house. Wow, she's really doing a lot!

They must have said 'carbon emissions' like 500 times. Might be that it's the only thing Leo knows how to say. But I kept wondering when would they discuss the real reason for global warming?

Let's look at the correlation between the rise of obesity and the rise in the global temperature:

Farts emit carbon dioxide. As consumption of fried chicken and quarter pounders increases, the waistline increases. An increased waistline compounded by a fatty drumstick yields mucho farto. And as the waistline increases, the power of a fart increases. As farts increase, carbon dioxide emissions increase.

For fun Facts on Farts, go to http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

For a new perspective on winning the battle of the bulge: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41236

My First Visit to Blogville

I've conformed. But nothing too serious will come of this, can't you read the address?